I know that I know that I know that God is in control, He's always with me. All I have to say or cry out is Jesus and He's right next to me. So why am I so afraid all the time.
Yesterday a good friend asked me how long I've been dealing with this and today I was thinking about that. God brought an image to my mind of grade school, I had just moved here and school had already started. I was the new kid. He started showing me other areas of life that helped shape my fear in to this horrible anxiety that it is today. Instances at school, home, church, in all aspects of my life there has been one more thing to add on top of my fears. So the answer to her question is, as far back as I can remember.
I've heard it called social anxiety. I don't know if that's the technical term but it sounds right. When I talk to anyone, even friends a debilitating fear takes over and I can barely breath.
I was talking to one of my sweet sisters today and when these things come to mind that we're afraid of then we start fearing the fear. This thing I'm afraid of becomes so big that it consumes my thoughts and pretty soon it's blown way out of proportion in to something that can't possibly happen and before long my eyes are off of God and on this big huge horrible thing that I just know is going to happen. But no, that's not true, the God we serve is bigger than any fear we could possible have.
I heard once that there are 365 "fear not's" in the Bible. One for every day of the year. I don't know if this is true but I thought man, if that is correct it's pretty much a given at some point in our life we will be afraid. But it doesn't have to consume me, it doesn't have to run my life. I've also heard that when we're afraid we call God a liar..He's NOT a liar. I don't know about you but I'm tired of being afraid. I was called to do something on Sunday, there was a reason God told me to do this so the fear needs to go. Not just on Sunday's but all days. It needs to go.
So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand Isaiah 41:10
There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear 1 John 4:18
When I'm afraid I will trust in you Psalms 56:3
Do not be afraid of them for I am with you and will rescue you, declares the Lord Jeremiah 1:8
Don't be afraid, you are worth more than any sparrow. Matthew 10:31
The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid, what can man do to me? Hebrews 13:6