Monday, May 23, 2011

A very special day

Today is a special day in my heart. It's the day I turned back to God 1 year ago. I stood infront of my work and repented of all the horrible things I was doing. Today is my heart birthday. While I feel closer to God than I've ever been before, I'm still very much not where I want to be.

Yesterday our Pastor talked about risking everything for God. Taking that leap of faith and balancing on a "maybe". Maybe God will do something miraculous, maybe God will move after I move first. Maybe God will come up under me and do something never before experienced. He also talked about "boring Christians" the people that coast along on auto pilot, their risk goes so far as to hope for a house, or hope to feel God in their lives on Sundays only.

I want more.

I want more than to be another boring Christian, leading a life of no risk just safety. I want to grow, and learn and move forward for God. I want to be used in mighty ways. I want to leap off a mountain and know God will come up under me just because that's how He is. I want to let go of my insecurities and let Him lead me.

My family and I have faced many challenges this past year. The big mountain we're climbing now is that I quit my job. I know now why God told me to do that. Our Pastor told us every year we should have at least 1 big Holy ambitious goal that we're reaching for. Something completley beyond our reach, something we could never even hope to accomplish without God's help.

My goal for this year is to learn how to be a Children's Pastor. When God first told me to quit my job He just said that I wouldn't have time to work at the bank and do what He wants me to do at the same time. I didn't know where the money was going to come from, I didn't know what that meant for our family I just knew God would move.

I know that I'm supposed to be a stay at home mom and raise my kids for God but He also wants me to work in the Church. I'm "training" for lack of a better word to be a Children's Pastor. In June I will be downstairs full time watching and learning and waiting. When God says I'm ready, He will raise me up. Until then I am to soak in as much information as I possibly can. If you know me personally, you know this is not me. I am quiet, and shy and I don't like talking. I don't like groups of people...this is all God.

God is doing something new in our Church and in me. I'm so greatful He got ahold of me last year. I love my Lord more than anything else and I want to make Him proud. Happy Birthday to my heart, thank you Jesus.

Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. Isaiah 43:19 Msg


Jenifer said...

Happy heart birthday Mandy! You have come so far in the year I have known you. You have blessed and encouraged me. I love watching you grow and looking forward to seeing what God has for you in the furture.

Phather Phil Malmstrom said...

What a wonderful anniversary Mandy! I have no doubt you'll be an amazing Youth Pastor, and will be praying for you!

Have a Blessed Day!

Kandi said...

It is as if you wrote this post just for me. My story is almost identical to yours, glad to have someone to identify with. I am excited for you as God's plan for your life continues to unfold.

Blessings to you.

Heidi said...

Such a beautiful post Mandy! Happy new heart day! He will absolutely equip you and grow you up into the place He wants you to be... praising Him for your willing heart to go and do whatever He asks of you!

Debi said...

Happy Heart Birthday, Mandy! You truly have come a long way in the past year!

I pray that I am able to be the guide you need. I know God put you here for such a time as this. I also know that I have 'trained' many people in the past so it's not anything new to me. The difference this time, is that I haven't done it in a while...I guess I was 'comfortable' with the team I had and God saw that I wasn't living up to what I should...train myself out of a job! Now, that's not to say that I will be leaving, but it is a possibility...And, it's not to say that you will be leaving, but again, it is a possibility. However, that's probably some time away...either way it happens. I am just eager to see you grow in this calling and know that you will! I am truly looking forward to working with you!

Alida said...

Happy Heart birthday!! I know that God will bless your stepping out in faith for Him. Our six years on the mission field has taught us so much and we have felt His guidance every step of the way!

Allison said...

Happy one year return! Praying you have many more as you continue to seek Him in all you do...that's all He asks of us, well, that plus obedience when He tells us to do something!

Lisa said...

Has it been a year already? On one hand it seems like just yesterday and on the other it seems like it has been years. You've grown so much in the past year. God is going to continue to use you in mighty and amazing ways. Just continue to say yes.

Kelli said...

It's so great knowing you are right where God wants you to be, isn't it? This post really touched me so much. I love this "maybe God will move after I move first." That has been my experience...if I'll just take a leap of faith, he will show up in such an amazing way, it will blow my mind! About 4 years ago this very thing happened to me. God brought me out of the casual Christian rut I was in and transformed me into a sold out follower...Praise the Lord for such an important interruption in my life! great post!!

Shanda said...

Happy Anniversary. I don't want to be a boring Christian either. I pray God blesses your desire to go into ministry.