(This is not the tree, but this is beautiful)
There's a tree outside our backdoor. Like all the other trees it has started to change with the fall season. Today I opened the curtain to let some sunshine in and the sunrise was beautiful. Breathtaking. The sky was bright blue and the clouds were whispy. As my children sat eating breakfast I admired the sunrise and I heard God whisper "I love you more". More than the sunrise, more than those whispy clouds, more than the fall colors you admire so much. I love you more"
My eye caught the tree then, that I mentioned at the beginning of this. I really looked at it and noticed one side was red with all the beautiful fall colors and the other side was still green. It looked like the change was straight down the middle. One side changed, one side not. As I stood there thinking about that tree and letting my brain wander and daydream God interrupted and said "change takes time"
God and I have been wrestling so to speak. My heart is full of ugliness. Anger, bitterness, selfishness, every day no matter how hard I try, all of it comes to the surface. I let someone else's actions or mood affect me and off I go in an adult temper tantrum. It's awful. Every day I cry and cry out to God to change me. How can this stuff possibly be a blessing, I can't make myself believe I'm meant to carry this around forever to keep me close to You Lord...that's what I asked Him last night. He was quiet last night but today He gave me my answer. Every day I ask Him to change my heart and expect to be changed, just like that. It's not that easy, if we've been the same way for 18, 20, 25 years then it's going to take time and patience and trust on our part to let God do His work.
He uses our circumstances, however extreme they may be to change us.
I get so frustrated when I'm met with the same awful attitude day in and day out, no matter how hard I cling, how hard I try. Just like God told me this morning though...
"Change takes time. Be patient and trust in Me"
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, Ephesians 3:20
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
You're Grace is sufficient for me, Lord.