My goal is to walk a mile each day (give or take a little because I don't actually know how far it is from my house to the spot I turn around to come back, but I'm working on finding out) I've been doing really well at keeping to that goal. I put my kids in the wagon and off we go. I can't say it's easy, they weight 20-30 lbs each but it has been rather fun and they really enjoy our walks. I have this little app on my cell phone called Endomondo, it's supposed to calculate speed, distance and time and calories lost well it doesn't do anything expect time me.
Against my better judgement I peeked at the scale this morning after my walk and it said I had gained 3lbs...I've walked more in a week than I've ever walked so once again I've failed.
Wait...failed? really...no. This is one of those times to really pray. When you're feeling like a failure, when nothing is working out for you, when you catch that glimpse in the mirror and think you're horrible and how could God ever love someone like you.
Worship is a muscle, praise is a muscle. You should be exercising these mucles every day so when you really need them, they are there for you to turn to and rely on. Self doubt and fear and anxiety and all the other things that have the potential to keep you down and quiet and away from God is like fat. When you worship and praise and pray the fat of your mind starts drifting away and you can start to see clearly again.
This is going to be a journey, one that obviously God thinks I'm ready for. Tonight I'm going to worship instead of give in to frustration. I'm going to pray that those 3 lbs were the muscles in my legs gearing up and I'm going to keep going. I'm not going to pay attention to the little voice in my head telling me to give up because God is bigger and He's telling me to let go and trust Him.
No more looking at the scale, it's not about what I've lost, it's about what I'm gaining, self worth, boldness, courage, an identity with Jesus...an eternity with God by my side.