Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Waiting on You Lord

Today has been one of those emotional roller coaster days. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Days where you don't know whether to cry, scream, sleep or laugh. What can I say, some much as I hate to admit it..I am ran by my emotions.

I figured maybe I was just tired and cranky (but I went to bed at 7:30)...there was also a disconnect I was feeling from God. I had no idea why I felt so angry, irritated, annoyed. Today is like any other day, I had my quiet time with God, I prayed, read my Bible..I felt fine just a little "grr" and very sleepy. I still didn't get it after reading one of my sweet sister's blogs.

And then it hit me..God just dropped the answer in my lap

Sunday everyone layed hands on my husband and prayed for him. All those voices, raising to Heaven as one, I just knew God would listen...My dad stepped WAYYYY out of his confort zone to ask everyone to do this so it must have been God, right?!

I got so excited

Monday we had his two week check-up. I can't even believe it's been two weeks already. John is still broken, he's healing, but he's not healed yet.

Father I just want my husband back.

Don't get me wrong, we are so incredibly blessed. In the fall, we found out Monday that John dislocated his ankle but God made sure to pop it back in to place upon landing. John has minimal to no pain in his back. He takes tylonel or advil as needed but they were very surprised to know he wasn't taking the hardcore pain meds anymore. So praise God he is healing, no matter where my thoughts may take me, God is healing my husband. My dad did hear instruction from God to have the Church pray for my husband. This morning my flesh was just having a small temper tantrum.

Thank you so much Heavenly Father for showing me what was wrong. Father forgive me for this stupid temper tantrum I was having. I'm so so so greatful for the healing you continue to do in my husband. You love him even more than I do.

So I wait, and I pray and God continues to be in control of me and my family. I'm humbled that He would even care for me enough to meet me in a temper tantrum. His answer to our prayers continues to be "not yet" so we wait, because we know He has something much better in-store for us. We pray and we Praise His name for the plans we can't see.

I love you Lord


Lisa said...

I so appreciate your honesty as you share from your heart. The waiting is hard, but God is there in the waiting - you know that. And like I told you Saturday, we are going to praise God for your husband's healing, no matter what the x-rays show. We know that God is touching him - we know it! Continue to lean on God in the waiting.

Jenifer said...

Oh I have to tell you that this is one of my all time favorite songs! I have it on my Ipod and play it very often.

We can praise God becaue John's fall was not worse. We can praise God because John is healing. We can praise God He is teaching you both through this experience. And we can praise God for His blessings through this. We will do all this praising while we wait on God. He knows best and will be there by your side.

Debi said...

There is no one thing that is harder than 'waiting!' We know in our head that God hears and answers, but our that's another story! Mandy...stay strong...God will perform the healing...whether it be through miraculous means or by medical WILL have your hubby back! And dare I say he will be stronger (physically AND spiritually) than before! There is a reason why your family must endure this...someday you may see may never know until you reach the shores of heaven. Regardless...stay in the Word and on your knees! God loves you and your family. And, so do I!

Heidi said...

I feel like I say this all the time, but take heart because you are not alone, we've all felt the way you're feeling! I'm praying for you and your husband. You know what's so awesome though... as I read about your struggles lately not once have you run from God... always to Him, so you may feel distant or discouraged, but to those of us who are reading your heart what we see is you seeking Him for comfort, answers and peace. You don't have to be outwardly bubbling over with joy in your trials, it's just an inner joy in your heart because you really know He's working even though it's really hard waiting. And sometimes you might get grumpy and tired or even angry, but as long as those emotions keep you running back to Him that is all that matters! Be encouraged not only is He holding your hand through it all... you are very clearly clinging to Him!

Allison Morrison said...

Waiting is hard...but He is there just like Lisa said. You may not feel His presence, but know that He has not left you! Sometimes our flesh just overtakes us and we have to step back and take a minute to get ourselves together!
Praying for you both.